Your body filed for divorce. Nobody told you where to send the paperwork.
Somewhere in her forties, hairstylist and salon owner Janelle Alexis noticed a pattern: every woman sitting in her chair was quietly falling apart in the exact same way, at the exact same time, convinced she was the only one. The chin hairs. The rage. The hormone pellet nobody warned her about. The husband's midlife crisis running on the same schedule as her own hot flashes. Turns out none of them were alone. They just hadn't found the group chat yet.
MENO POSSE is the girlfriend's guide nobody hands you at the gynecologist's office-equal parts unfiltered memoir, salon-chair confessional, and long-overdue permission slip to laugh at the whole unhinged transition instead of white-knuckling it alone. From the 2 a.m. chin-hair discovery to the mammogram that presses you like a panini, from the testosterone cream that came with a beard to the group chat that saves you at 9 p.m. on a Tuesday-this is midlife told exactly the way it actually happens: messy, hilarious, occasionally disgusting, and never, ever alone.
Inside, you'll find:
- Why your gym is gaslighting you (spoiler: you're stronger than ever and the mirror still won't admit it)
- The salon-chair diagnosis for a marriage quietly falling apart
- A professional colorist's real, unfiltered take on grey hair-and why it's really just chin hair that found a better neighborhood
- The hormone pellet conversation nobody prepares you for (bring tweezers, not judgment)
- One woman's hysterectomy, and why she's popping champagne instead of grieving
- A starter kit for finding an actual menopause-literate doctor-because you deserve better than a pamphlet
"We saved you a seat, and honestly, we've been waiting for you."
