Quiet, Mother, I'm tryin' to speak to our guests so they understand what they've gotten themselves into by buyin' this book. Well yes, of course they know about our story, my photo's right on the cover. It's just that we've got so much stuff in the house, I figured why not sell it, let some other folks enjoy it. Plus, I reckon that man sure did need my help. With the way his wife and kids were treatin' him and all. But he sure showed them, didn't he?

Now, Mother, that's not nice to say about our guests. Just because they like stories full of sin don't necessarily mean they'll burn in Hell for readin' them. This here book may have a story about a jumbo-sized baby that eats other little children for breakfast, or a tale told from the perspective of a dead hooker lying out in the woods where all kinda critters get to eatin' on her, or one, that I particularly relate to, about a family who all wear masks made of skin on their faces just tryin' their best to fit in and be part of normal society. And plenty more where that came from.

No, Mother, this ain't a book for a Christian woman like yourself. But for the ones who saw my photo on the cover and got curious, this is just the kinda book that might tickle their fancy. Even if they end up burnin' in Hell for it.