The Skuide continue their hilarious pre-arrival adventures on a little blue planet, despite knowing they were conned into it by the Universe's Creative Genius. After nearly a thousand years, their pre-arrival is nearly at an end. Their Stasis Watch is jitterier than ever; any significant changes could affect the converging timelines.
Dufferdom, a totalitarian regime, plans to take over the world, but why stop there when you are on a megalomaniacal broadcasting binge? They unwittingly have created a few minor problems for themselves. Firstly, they bought armaments from SAC, then they stole Warden's football and finally, they included Dukiesland, the Skuide's planetary base, in their kill zone. To say the least, their plans go awry. Their leadership committee discovers that in Skuide law, crime does not pay.
Meanwhile, the mischievous Stanniscan double agent, Fahmita Loor, a.k.a Mita or Fahta, is kidnapped and forced to go to Dukiesland. A premature birth gets her admitted into Haffaton Hospital, where she is placed in Isolation. Her kidnappers organize a recovery team, who ultimately join her. Doctor Dock, upon returning from his holidays, is not happy about his hospital being used as a prison or its threatened demolition by zombies. The zombies meet a sticky and somewhat ticklish end before their former identities are revealed. With the Traceries busy on a new mega-project, the Skuide decide to put the zombies in stasis.
In the Dukiesland capital, Torrange, the denizens of the No-Go-Zone have rented out space to a foreign Drug Cartel whose local Boss has broken a lease condition, no dead bodies. This rift means she only has 24 hours to fulfill her Cartel contract. Fahta's kidnap replacement, as a guide to the hooch nut and tiddly tea glade, is the Chief of Detectives' new wife, Moonshine. Is serendipity smiling on the Boss? If only her Number Two was not so ambitious.
The underground rush to the Wilderness glade runs through a cave currently housing an alien rock band, who compose explosively. Via some careful non-planning, Number Two finds himself in charge of the bush collection process. When the Boss arrives, he deposes her before setting off to deliver the bushes. He overshoots the entrance back to base before his cavalcade comes to a disastrous halt. Only then does he discover what a worthless exercise the whole scheme has been.
Meanwhile, the former Boss escapes from the rock band's death circle and shoots three vacant bodies before squeezing out of a tight predicament, only to discover what Number Two now knows. Hooch nuts grow in the Wilderness. The Boss decides it is time for a new career path, preferably one that leads to Hoggeralia. En route, she is abducted and taken to another planet, before being handed over to Mita to face justice back in Dukiesland.
The decommissioned zombies are sworn in as Dukiesland Special Constables in order to arrest their former controllers, who are now trying to hide in the No-Go Zone. With the help of the No-Goers and others, the Specials arrest the gang. CRAP (Convict Rapid Ageing Process) is used to deal with the Drug Cartel's personnel and its wealth.
On the positive side: Gabriel Galesac and his wife buy a boat, five ladies are thrilled with their new lifestyles and the Skuide have discovered friendship. Is everybody happy? No. A deported, socially-aware Hoggeralian delegation will have to explain to their president why they declared war on Dukiesland.
