Petunia Perry has decided to write her memoirs. She wants the world to know what it's like to start secondary school with a best friend who stages one-person flash mobs in the canteen, a mother who over-shares at parents' evenings and an unwelcome suitor who draws pictures of her as a unicorn...
My name is Petunia Perry.
I am 12 years old.
I am sitting in my wardrobe writing my memoirs because...
1. Everyone at my new school thinks I'm weird.
2. I accidentally spat tuna sandwich on the boy I like.
3. My best friend Cammy spent ALL of our band money on PERSONALISED SOCKS
4. I have been cursed by an UGLY pigeon!
These things might never happen to you, but, if they do, you'll be glad you read about them HERE first...